in today's goop.com enewsletter gweneth asked four women, “what does it take to sustain a happy and successful relationship or marriage?” each woman had a great perspective on the subject, below are some of my favorite parts of each. click here to read the full newsletter, very interesting read!
monica berg, spiritual teacher and guide
"what helps sustain a relationship is continuing to put as much effort into nourishing it as we did finding it."
how true! when you're single you take care of yourself, get dressed up, try to look as good as you can to catch "the one" and then once you have it's like . . . boyfriend, check! like you can cross it off your list and move on to chasing your next goal - career, house, kids, etc. makes me want to get dressed up all fancy, just to make dinner for sean at home.
dr. karen binder-brynes, a leading psychologist in nyc
"there is no such thing as potential.”
i agree with this to a point. she meant it in a "what you see is what you get" kind of way, in that we're often attracted to people who are different from us in the beginning and then once we get into a relationship we want them to change to better match with us, but it turns out that people are who they are. however, she also goes on to say "one should feel that they can fall backwards and have loving, nonjudgmental arms to catch them." i think each of us has potential to be a better version of ourselves and that a supportive, loving partner can help you achieve that by giving you the confidence to try.
cynthia bourgeault, a priest, writer and teacher
"put your own selves – your hopes and fears, irritations and shadows, your intimate jostling up against each other – become the friction that polishes you both to pure diamonds."
this concept of fighting and struggling against each other to become a stronger couple was also mentioned in the movie away we go (a must see!) and after the movie, sean and i talked about how we rarely ever fight. i don't thing this is a bad thing, i think we're both just rational people who know how to pick our battles - but when we do, we always seem to take a step back to realize how we acted or reacted and how it made the other person feel. we can then talk about why we even fought in the first place, apologize, learn from it and move forward together.
rebeka sawyer, married 26 years
“babe, let's find a moment, daily, to surprise each other with a kiss, a DEEP one."
rebeka talked about making it a goal to "practice" your love daily and set a new year's resolution for a deep kiss every day with her man. sean and i kiss each other goodbye every morning and usually when we get home, but i want to make sure they don't become routine, so i think i'll kiss him a little "deeper" when i get home today :)
i agree with this to a point. she meant it in a "what you see is what you get" kind of way, in that we're often attracted to people who are different from us in the beginning and then once we get into a relationship we want them to change to better match with us, but it turns out that people are who they are. however, she also goes on to say "one should feel that they can fall backwards and have loving, nonjudgmental arms to catch them." i think each of us has potential to be a better version of ourselves and that a supportive, loving partner can help you achieve that by giving you the confidence to try.
cynthia bourgeault, a priest, writer and teacher
"put your own selves – your hopes and fears, irritations and shadows, your intimate jostling up against each other – become the friction that polishes you both to pure diamonds."
this concept of fighting and struggling against each other to become a stronger couple was also mentioned in the movie away we go (a must see!) and after the movie, sean and i talked about how we rarely ever fight. i don't thing this is a bad thing, i think we're both just rational people who know how to pick our battles - but when we do, we always seem to take a step back to realize how we acted or reacted and how it made the other person feel. we can then talk about why we even fought in the first place, apologize, learn from it and move forward together.
rebeka sawyer, married 26 years
“babe, let's find a moment, daily, to surprise each other with a kiss, a DEEP one."
rebeka talked about making it a goal to "practice" your love daily and set a new year's resolution for a deep kiss every day with her man. sean and i kiss each other goodbye every morning and usually when we get home, but i want to make sure they don't become routine, so i think i'll kiss him a little "deeper" when i get home today :)
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